I spent most of my adult life as an atheist. I sometimes hedged and called myself agnostic, but that was “cope” as the kids say.
I even wrote a book about how to find meaning and purpose in life without belief in God.
Well, turns out, that didn’t work. And I’m no longer an atheist.
Three main reasons:
1. Physics
2. Morality
3. Purpose
Physics: The deeper we dig into matter and energy, the harder strict materialism is to defend. Rearrangements don’t explain the existence of the stuff being rearranged. Something had to “create”. Big Bang only deals with what happened after creation. Something can’t come from nothing – at least not in nature. So the creation of the universe is by definition literally supernatural.
Morality: There’s a nagging moral law we all feel, especially when we break it. Where did that come from?
Purpose: If consciousness is cosmic fluke, why do we ache for meaning that outlasts us?
Here are the books that helped open my mind and clarify my thoughts about life and the universe. Atheism requires a tremendous amount of faith, mostly in humans. If you read these books in this order, as an atheist, you will have a hard time holding on to your faith.
Miracles – C. S. Lewis (great summary of all the modern viewpoints on the origin of the universe and life, and strong refutation of strict materialism)
Theism and Humanism – Arthur Balfour (argues that naturalism cannot logically account for the foundations of human reason, morality, and culture)
Mere Christianity – C. S. Lewis (the one I reread a dozen times, completely blew my mind and literally sent me to find a church)
Once you’ve read those, you’ll probably believe that God or a god-like entity created the universe and life on Earth. So what do you do with this information?! Well, go talk to other people who believe and ask them questions. You’ll find them at various buildings called “churches” around the world. They may offer you food and community – significant bonuses. What they won’t have is all the answers. But they’ll be able to help you get closer to the truth than you could on your own.
If you need some further understanding of what the “Christian God” is, here are the next books on the list:
The Reason for God, Tim Keller
The Case for Christ, Lee Strobel
Mere Christianity was the book I had to read over and over again. It is easy to read, but its clarity made it challenging for my atheist mind to truly understand. He lays out a very clear, reason-based explanation for the existence of God. So much so that it deeply changed my mind. I’ve read it over a dozen times and still find new ideas, and new questions.
Finally, if you have come to believe that God created the universe, but don’t quite understand how we humans got here, the next step is understanding abiogenesis (the creation of life). The bible lays out a beautiful description of this, but most theologians don’t think it is to be taken literally (seven days).
Stephen Meyer’s work on this is the best I’ve found:
Signature in the Cell, Stephen C. Meyer
If you’re where I was—skeptical but honest—grab a coffee with someone who believes. Most churches are full of people who remember the questions you’re asking. They won’t have every answer (I surely don’t), but the conversation is worth it.